Here are some principles that professionals who provide couples therapy in NJ have found useful.
The Change First Principle
During difficult times, both partners can feel that since they have suffered due to problems in the relationship, the other should be the first to initiate change in order to get the relationship back on track. If both partners feel this way, issues will never get off the ground. Couples counseling in NJ helps individuals who find themselves in this position.
A big step toward a solution here is for both partners to make a commitment to be the first to do what is best for the relationship. Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move towards doing what is helpful. Plow ahead with what you feel would be helpful, even if it isn’t reciprocated right away.
Act “As If”
Couples therapy in NJ teaches partners that when they act “as if” good things will happen in response to their efforts, those things are much more likely to occur. The opposite is also true. If a couple expects things to go poorly, they’ll act in ways that support this.
Expectations act like an architect, creating the desired changes by converting thoughts to actions. The old saying, “you get what you expect” appears to be true. Studies show that we tend to act out what we think. This is an important point for partners in couples counseling in NJ to keep in mind.
Couples therapy in NJ help couples seek solutions one step at a time. If, for example, you feel you need better financial organization, fix that area first, then move on to how to keep your place cleaner, then to supporting each other’s schedules, etc.
Behaviors Change Feelings
It is common for couples entering therapy to say, “I’ll behave differently when I feel differently.” Actually, it’s the other way around. In order to feel differently we need to change our behaviors first. Our feelings toward others are based on the way they treat us. Warm feelings are usually not created by one’s partner saying they are a caring person, but by one’s partner acting in caring ways.
Divorce statistics are dismal, yet all but a small percentage of the population still eventually marry. For this and many other reasons, it makes great sense for individuals engaged in couples therapy in NJ to familiarize themselves with what does and doesn’t work in relationships.
Betty Rader is the author of this article, working with Aspire Health, a professional practice offering couples counseling in NJ. Interested in finding out more about premarriage counseling? Visit our website today for more information.
The Change First Principle
During difficult times, both partners can feel that since they have suffered due to problems in the relationship, the other should be the first to initiate change in order to get the relationship back on track. If both partners feel this way, issues will never get off the ground. Couples counseling in NJ helps individuals who find themselves in this position.
A big step toward a solution here is for both partners to make a commitment to be the first to do what is best for the relationship. Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move towards doing what is helpful. Plow ahead with what you feel would be helpful, even if it isn’t reciprocated right away.
Act “As If”
Couples therapy in NJ teaches partners that when they act “as if” good things will happen in response to their efforts, those things are much more likely to occur. The opposite is also true. If a couple expects things to go poorly, they’ll act in ways that support this.
Expectations act like an architect, creating the desired changes by converting thoughts to actions. The old saying, “you get what you expect” appears to be true. Studies show that we tend to act out what we think. This is an important point for partners in couples counseling in NJ to keep in mind.
Couples therapy in NJ help couples seek solutions one step at a time. If, for example, you feel you need better financial organization, fix that area first, then move on to how to keep your place cleaner, then to supporting each other’s schedules, etc.
Behaviors Change Feelings
It is common for couples entering therapy to say, “I’ll behave differently when I feel differently.” Actually, it’s the other way around. In order to feel differently we need to change our behaviors first. Our feelings toward others are based on the way they treat us. Warm feelings are usually not created by one’s partner saying they are a caring person, but by one’s partner acting in caring ways.
Divorce statistics are dismal, yet all but a small percentage of the population still eventually marry. For this and many other reasons, it makes great sense for individuals engaged in couples therapy in NJ to familiarize themselves with what does and doesn’t work in relationships.
Betty Rader is the author of this article, working with Aspire Health, a professional practice offering couples counseling in NJ. Interested in finding out more about premarriage counseling? Visit our website today for more information.
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